1. Əgər siz artıq soyuducuda kifayət qədər daha çox var zaman brokoli al.
2. Go for a run. Cool off. Take off clean pillow case and replace with T-shirt. Cover with clean pillow case.
3. Sürücülük zaman, biz bir yol küçə aşağı yanlış yol getməlidir, xahiş.
4. Uğrunda 15 il, hər bazar günü sizin həyat yoldaşı bir muzey gedən göstərir ki,, muzey bazar üzrə açıq ifadə sürpriz.
5. Uğrunda 15 il, occasionally suggest going to the local book store on Sunday. Express surprise that they are not open on Sunday’s (thanks a lot Blue Qanunlar!).
6. Istifadə 20 bir etmək bal 3 point turn.
7. Sərin erkən Fall günortadan sonra, walk into the room and turn on the A/C. Complain that it’s cold. When wife says, "then why did you turn that on, səfeh" və onu söndürmək üçün qalxır, grab the warm spot she had on the couch. Bonus points if she does not realize you did it until much later.
8. Dadlı ağ albacore tuna bir bilər açın və ola bilərsiniz düz yemək, yataq, gecə.
9. Həyat yoldaşı yeməyi yemək isə mətbəx dön, həyat yoldaşı screams qədər ətrafında bıçaq Ray və təkan qabları açmaq, "what are you looking for!"
10. Yeni iş kartları alınması haqqında, gizli bütün ev ətrafında onlara yerləşdirmək: Yatağı əsasən, yastıq hallarda, qəhvə fincan daxilində, onun pul, palto ciblərindən, avtomobil əlcək compartments, kiler — anywhere you can think of.
11. Sizin həyat yoldaşı haqqında blog entries yazın.
12. Ayılmaq.
13. New York küçələrində gəzinti zaman, be on the alert for "crusty" objects on the ground. Nəzərə sizin həyat yoldaşı xüsusi qorxu saxlanması, bir qədər ala və xahiş kimi aşağı olmaq, "hmm, Hesab edirəm ki, nə təəccüb?" (Be prepared for wife to body slam you as if she’s a secret service agent protecting the President from a sniper or you’ll find yourself laying on your back on the sidewalk).
14. Drive twice around a parking lot looking for space. You know you’ve really hit pay dirt when your son in the back seat yells, "Oh no! O, bunu oldu yenidən!"
15. Write "top 10" yoxdur siyahıları 10 maddələr.

===

Bonus həyat yoldaşı zarafat:

Two male co-workers go out to lunch. One of them tells the other, "I let loose an embarrassing Freudian slip the other night."

"A Freudian slip? What’s that?"

"Well, biz yemək başa zaman, ki, xörəkpaylayan ilə gəldi və biz yemək xoşuma gəldi necə istədi. Mən deyirəm nəzərdə, ‘I loved the chicken breast’ but instead I said ‘I loved your breasts’. I was so embarrassed."

"Ah," his co-worker replied. "I had the same thing happen to me this weekend with my wife. We were eating breakfast I meant to ask her to pass the butter, əvəzində mən ona qışqıraraq, ‘You ruined my life!""

</son>

Haqqında altı il əvvəl, my four-year-old son and I were upstairs watching a Discovery channel "shark attacks" xüsusi (bəlkə bu). He was very young at the point and I was always worried what he might see on a show like this and how he might take it. I didn’t want him to develop, məsələn, hər special fears of the water or blab something inappropriate to his friends and possibly cause his baby friend network to come crashing down.

Discovery handles these kinds of subjects very well. It’s not about creating a fear of something, but rather to show how unusual it is for sharks to attack humans.

Belə, we’re watching it and there is this one particularly scary attack involving a small girl. As Discovery is building the drama of the attack, my son (who has always been extremely jumpy anyway), is getting very excited. I make some noises about how unusual it is for sharks to attack people, and how bad the poor girl must feel. I’m trying to explain that people recover from these events and become stronger for it. Lakin, I had misinterpreted his excitement. He was not worried about the girl at all. Əvəzində, əllərini alqış edərkən, O mənə deyir, "The sharks love it! It’s terrific. It’s wonderful. Its a DREAM COME TRUE!"

Mən bu şən idi düşündüm, but also very disturbing. Bir tərəfdən, Mən sevindim — hətta bir az qürur — O, güclü empathic hisslər var ki,, cross-species though they may be. As humans, we need to develop our "empathic muscles" so speak or you’ll end up like this guy 🙂 On the other hand, he was feeling cross-species empathy toward a species who was exhibiting behavior inimical to his own. I was really struggling with this when the narrator used the word "paradigm". My son picked up on that and asked me what that meant.

That’s not such an easy word to describe to a four year old, but I gave it a try. When I think of the word "paradigm", Thomas Kuhn is never far from my thoughts. Mən oxumaq The Structure of Scientific Revolutions back at Lafayette and for better or for worse, the word "paradigm" is pregnant with extra meaning for me. (Sort of like the word "contact" after hearing a Movie Phone voice tell me where I could see that movie [I thought the book was better]; I always say to myself, "CONTACT!" whenever I see or hear someone say "contact").

Hər halda, I’m trying to explain to him a Kuhnian definition, that it’s "a historical movement of thought" and that it’s a "way of thinking with a number of built-in assumptions that are hard to escape for people living at that time." Əlbəttə, you can’t talk like to a four-year old, so I’m trying to successively define it to smaller pieces and feeling rather proud of myself as I do so. (I just knew that someone outside of college would care that I had read Kuhn!).

I’m just warming to the task when he interrupts me. Waving his hand in my general direction and never taking his eyes off another brutal shark attack, he just says, "Yeah, Bəli, Bəli. Blah, blah, blah.".

So much for that 🙂

Bu noktada, Mən qaçmağa qərar, rhetorically danışan, dala oturmaq, və oğlu ilə shirks hücum insanlar izləmək zövq.

</son>

Geri yaxın 1999, Mən Santa Barbara həftə bir çox həyata sərf edilmişdir, CA, bir müşteri üçün iş, leaving my poor wife back here in New Jersey alone. I dearly love my wife. I love her just as much today as I did when she foolishly married me 1,000 years or so ago. Somewhere xətti boyunca, Mən bir söz coined, "special fear", as in "Samantha has special fears." She as a special fear of "bugs", Onun hansı uçur və ya ladybugs deyil, but rather microbes. She’s afraid of this or that virus or unusual bacteria afflicting our son, və ya mənə, but never really herself. (O, həmçinin Vampires xüsusi qorxur, miniatür pis dolls (xüsusilə klounlar) və sualtı qəza; o Santa Claus kıyafetlerinize ildə geyimli insanlar öz xüsusi qorxu out-artıb).

Bir gün, my co-worker and I decided to drive up into the nearby mountains near Ohai. At one point, we got out of the car to take in the scene. When we got back into the car, I noticed that a tick was on my shoulder. I flicked out the window and that was it.

Bu gecə, I told her about our drive and mentioned the tick. The conversation went something like this:

S: "Oooo! Those are bad. They carry diseases."

P: "Well, Mən pəncərə həyata flicked."

S: "They are really bad though. They can get under your skin and suck blood and transfer bugs. You better check your hair and make sure there aren’t any in your head!"

P: Qışqıra-qışqıra: "My God! CAN THEY TAKE OVER YOUR MIND???"

S: Sözün mənə güvən: "No, Onlar pis deyilik."

</son>

Biz ilk alıb (yalnız və yalnız) "luxury" car back when hurricane Floyd nailed the east coast of the U.S. We got a LOT of rain here in New Jersey and Bir neçə gün keçdi before life returned to normal. Just before Floyd struck, biz istifadə Volvo təklif 850 GL və sonra Floyd vurdu, ev sürdü.

It was our first car with a CD player. Like most new car owners, biz bir az CD crazy getdi, revived our dormant CD collection and went on long drives just to listen to CD’s in the car. Like all fads, this passed for us and we ended listening to the same CD over and over again. Bizim halda, idi İsa Məsih Superstar.

Biri (çox) ki, rok opera parlaq ədəd yaradılması dini növləri tərəfindən ifa olunur, başda Caiaphas, the "High Priest". They sing their way into deciding how to handle the "Jesus problem" and Caiaphas directs them to the conclusion that "Jesus must die". The refrain on the song is "Just must die, ölmək lazımdır, ölmək lazımdır, this Jesus must die". You hear that refrain a lot in that piece.

O zaman, my son was about three years old. You can probably see where this is going.

I came home from work one day and my son is in the living room playing with toys and humming to himself. I’m taking off my jacket, poçt vasitəsilə axtarır və bütün adi walk-in-the-qapı məhsulları və mən birdən-birə o, yalnız deyən oldu ki, həyata, həqiqətən oxuyan deyil: "Jesus must die, ölmək lazımdır, must die." I was mortified. I could just see him doing that while on one of his baby play dates at a friend’s house — ki, körpə dostu ilə yəqin ki, sonuncu play tarixi.

We pulled that CD out of the Volvo after that 🙂

</son>

Belə, bu səhər, Oğlum bir yaş-on üç məhdud Halo görmək üçün müəyyən edilir 3 video Gamespot. I’m outside shoveling snow, so I’m not there to help or hinder. Necessity is the mother of invention and all that … he has a eureka! moment. He realizes that even though Gamespot wants him to enter his real Dəğum tarixi, o, faktiki olaraq daxil edə bilərsiniz hər birth date he wants. Once he realized that, o video görmək üçün kifayət qədər özünü köhnə edib.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this 🙂

Kollec həyata mənim ilk iş yerində 1991, Mən bir istehsal şirkət üçün işləmək üçün uğurlu olmuşdur 13 locations, not including its corporate HQ in New Jersey. I joined just when the company was rolling out a new ERP system. We were a small IT department of about ten people altogether, two of whom Did Not Travel. Part of the project involved replacing IBM System 36 boxes with HP hardware and HPUX. Everyone used green tubes to access the system.

Layihə boyunca rulolar və mən əməkdaşı yeni ilə Baltimore nazil alıram, Jeff. Our job was to power up the Unix box, O / S qaçdığı əmin, ERP sistemi yüklemeye, ERP konfiqurasiya, train people on the ERP and do custom work for folks on the spot. (Bu yuxu iş idi, xüsusilə düz kollec gələn). Before we could really get off the ground, biz bütün yaşıl borular açmaktır üçün lazım, put them on desks and wire them. And the best part was that we had to put the RJ11 connectors on ourselves.

Mən vaxt başa heç və faktiki haqqında soruşmaq fikir heç vaxt ki, bəzi səbəbdən, biz bir podratçı şirkət zavodun boyunca birlikdə gəlib və kabel run idilər, but we didn’t have them put on the connectors. Belə, there was a "patch box" with dozens of of unlabeled cables in the "computer room" və bu bina müxtəlif yerlərinə Binanın ətrafında snaked.

Biz bir həftə ərzində vasitəsilə yol işləyib, hər tel test, bir bağlayıcı qoyulması (arxayın o düz vs idi. qatışıq), yaşıl borular və printerlər bit parametrləri düzgün təmin, labeling wires, making sure that "getty" was running correctly for each port and probably a thousand other things that I’ve suppressed since then. It all came together quite nicely.

Lakin, there was one important cable that we couldn’t figure out. The plant in Baltimore had a relationship with a warehousing location in New Jersey. Some orders placed in Baltimore shipped out of that location. There were two wires that we had to connect to the HPUX box: a green tube and a printer. The green tube was easy, lakin Çap üç həftə qarabasma çevrildi.

Siz onu bilmirəm, və ya onu yatırıldı var, yaşıl borular və printerlər bu şəkildə məşğul, there are various options that you deal with by setting various pins. 8-parça, 7-parça, bərabərlik (hətta Tek / / none), probably others. If you get one of those settings wrong, boru və ya printer hələ heyəti göstərir, lakin bu ümumi gibberish olacaq, or it will be gibberish with a lot of recognizable stuff in between. Əlbəttə, these pins are hard to see and have to be set by using a small flat-edge screw driver. And they are never standard.

Biz NJ oğlan çox tez zənglər ilk qurmaq (bu gün kim yəqin ki, küfrlər bizə grizzled kompüter qənim). We got the green tube working pretty quickly, but we couldn’t get the printer to work. It kept "printing garbage". We would create a new RJ11 connector, switching between crossed and straight. We would delete the port and re-created in Unix. We went through the arduous task of having him explain to us the pin configuration on the printer, həqiqətən əmin heç vaxt o düzgün bunu əgər.

Bu canlı getmək barədə zamanı, Baltimore hər şey uğultu olunur, lakin biz iş NJ ildə lə'nət Çap qədər ala bilmir! We’ve exhausted all possibilities except for driving back up to NJ to work on the printer in person. To avoid all that driving, we finally ask him to fax us what he’s getting when it’s "garbage", bəlkə biz səhv yapýyorsun nə deyəcəklər ki, zibil bir ipucu olacaq ki, ümid.

Biz faks var zaman, we immediately knew what was wrong. Görmək, our method of testing whether we had configured a printer correctly was to issue an "lp" bu kimi komanda:

LP / etc / passwd

Əsasən, we printed out the unix password file. It’s always present and out of the box, always just one page. You standard Unix password file looks something like this:

dəmirçi:*:100:100:8A-74(idarə):/Ana səhifə / smith:/usr / bin / sh
:*:200:0::/Ana səhifə / qonaq:/usr/bin/sh  

We had been printing out the password file over and over again for several weeks and it was printing correctly. Lakin, son istifadəçi üçün, it was "printing garbage".

</son>