1. Kupi brokulu kad bi znao da je već više nego dovoljno u hladnjaku.
2. Go for a run. Cool off. Take off clean pillow case and replace with T-shirt. Cover with clean pillow case.
3. Pri vožnji, pitati ako smo trebali ići na krivi put prema dolje jednosmjernoj ulici.
4. Za 15 godina, svake nedjelje da žena sugerira ide u muzej, express čudi da muzeji su otvoreni u nedjelju.
5. Za 15 godina, occasionally suggest going to the local book store on Sunday. Express surprise that they are not open on Sunday’s (puno hvala Blue Zakoni!).
6. Koristiti 20 Točke koje treba uraditi 3 point turn.
7. Na hladnom i ranu jesen poslijepodne, walk into the room and turn on the A/C. Complain that it’s cold. When wife says, "then why did you turn that on, glup" i dobiva se da ga isključite, grab the warm spot she had on the couch. Bonus points if she does not realize you did it until much later.
8. Otvorite konzervu tune ukusna bijele manje tune i jesti ravno iz limenke, u krevetu, noću.
9. Idi u kuhinju dok je žena jede večeru, otvoriti ladicu pribor za jelo i posuđe gurati okolo dok supruga vrišti, "what are you looking for!"
10. Po primitku novih poslovnih kartica, potajno staviti ih po cijeloj kući: Ispod kreveta, u jastučnice, unutar šalica za kavu, u torbici, u džepove kaputa, auto rukavica odjeljaka, ostava — anywhere you can think of.
11. Napišite blog unose podatke o svom suprugu.
12. Probuditi se.
13. Prilikom šetnje ulicama New Yorka, be on the alert for "crusty" objects on the ground. Imajući u vidu svoje supruge posebne strahove, do dolje, kao da bi jedan pokupiti i pitati, "hmm, Pitam se što je to?" (Be prepared for wife to body slam you as if she’s a secret service agent protecting the President from a sniper or you’ll find yourself laying on your back on the sidewalk).
14. Drive twice around a parking lot looking for space. You know you’ve really hit pay dirt when your son in the back seat yells, "Oh no! He’s doing it opet!"
15. Write "top 10" lists that don’t have 10 predmeti.

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Bonus wife joke:

Two male co-workers go out to lunch. One of them tells the other, "I let loose an embarrassing Freudian slip the other night."

"A Freudian slip? What’s that?"

"Well, when we finished eating, the waitress came by and asked how we liked our meals. I meant say, ‘I loved the chicken breast’ but instead I said ‘I loved your breasts’. I was so embarrassed."

"Ah," his co-worker replied. "I had the same thing happen to me this weekend with my wife. We were eating breakfast I meant to ask her to pass the butter, but instead I screamed at her, ‘You ruined my life!'"

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Prije nekih šest godina, moj četverogodišnji sin i ja bili na katu gledajući Otkriće kanala "shark attacks" poseban (ova možda). He was very young at the point and I was always worried what he might see on a show like this and how he might take it. I didn’t want him to develop, na primjer, bilo koji posebni strahuje vode ili lani nešto neprimjereno svojim prijateljima, a možda i dovesti svoju mrežu beba prijatelju da se obruši.

Discovery handles these kinds of subjects very well. It’s not about creating a Strah od nešto, but rather to show how unusual it is for sharks to attack humans.

Tako, we’re watching it and there is this one particularly scary attack involving a small girl. As Discovery is building the drama of the attack, moj sin (koji je oduvijek bio iznimno nervozan ionako), is getting very excited. I make some noises about how unusual it is for sharks to attack people, and how bad the poor girl must feel. I’m trying to explain that people recover from these events and become stronger for it. Međutim, I had misinterpreted his excitement. He was not worried about the girl at all. Umjesto toga, dok je pljeskao rukama, on mi kaže, "The sharks love it! It’s terrific. It’s wonderful. Its a DREAM COME TRUE!"

Mislio sam da je ovo bio smiješan, but also very disturbing. U jednu ruku, Bilo mi je drago — čak i malo ponosni — da bi on mogao imati jake osjećaje empatije, cross-species though they may be. As humans, we need to develop our "empathic muscles" tako govore ili ćete završiti kao ovaj tip 🙂 On the other hand, he was feeling cross-species empathy toward a species who was exhibiting behavior inimical to his own. I was really struggling with this when the narrator used the word "paradigm". My son picked up on that and asked me what that meant.

To nije lako, kao riječ za opisati na četiri godine starim, but I gave it a try. When I think of the word "paradigm", Thomas Kuhn is never far from my thoughts. I read Struktura znanstvenih revolucija natrag na Lafayette i za bolje ili na gore, the word "paradigm" is pregnant with extra meaning for me. (Sort of like the word "contact" nakon što je čuo glas Telefon Film mi reći gdje sam mogao vidjeti taj film [Mislio sam da je knjiga bila bolja]; Ja uvijek kažem sebi, "CONTACT!" whenever I see or hear someone say "contact").

U svakom slučaju, Ja pokušavam objasniti mu Kuhnian razlučivosti, that it’s "a historical movement of thought" and that it’s a "way of thinking with a number of built-in assumptions that are hard to escape for people living at that time." Naravno, ne može razgovarati kao s četiri godišnja, so I’m trying to successively define it to smaller pieces and feeling rather proud of myself as I do so. (Upravo sam znali da je netko izvan sudačke će se brinuti da sam pročitao Kuhn!).

I’m just warming to the task when he interrupts me. Waving his hand u mom smjeru općeg i ne skidajući pogled s druge brutalnom napadu morskog psa, on samo kaže:, "Yeah, da, da. Pretjerivanje, pretjerivanje, blah.".

So much for that 🙂

U tom trenutku, Sam odlučio pobjeći, retorički govoreći, zasjesti, i uživati ​​gledajući morski psi napadaju ljude s mojim sinom.

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Povratak u blizini 1999, Provodio sam puno tjedna u Santa Barbari, CA, raditi za klijenta, leaving my poor wife back here in New Jersey alone. I dearly love my wife. I love her just as much today as I did when she foolishly married me 1,000 years or so ago. Negdje duž linije, Sam skovao frazu, "special fear", as in "Samantha has special fears." She as a special fear of "bugs", koji joj nisu muhe ili Ladybugs, but rather microbes. She’s afraid of this or that virus or unusual bacteria afflicting our son, ili ja, but never really herself. (Ona je također posebno bojati vampira, minijaturne zle lutke (posebno klaunovi) i podmornice nesrećama; ona je prerastao svoj poseban strah od ljudi odjeveni u Djeda Mraza odjeće).

Jednog dana, my co-worker and I decided to drive up into the nearby mountains near Ohai. At one point, we got out of the car to take in the scene. When we got back into the car, I noticed that a tick was on my shoulder. I flicked out the window and that was it.

Te noći, I told her about our drive and mentioned the tick. The conversation went something like this:

S: "Oooo! Those are bad. They carry diseases."

P: "Well, Ja ga trzanje kroz prozor."

S: "They are really bad though. They can get under your skin and suck blood and transfer bugs. You better check your hair and make sure there aren’t any in your head!"

P: Glasno: "My God! CAN THEY TAKE OVER YOUR MIND???"

S: Doslovno me uvjerava: "No, oni nisu toliko loše."

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Kupili smo naš prvi (a samo) "luxury" car back when hurricane Floyd nailed the east coast of the U.S. We got a LOT of rain here in New Jersey and nekoliko dana prošlo before life returned to normal. Just before Floyd struck, napravili smo ponudu za rabljenog Volva 850 GL i nakon što je udario Floyd, odvezao ga kući.

It was our first car with a CD player. Like most new car owners, otišli smo malo lud CD, revived our dormant CD collection and went on long drives just to listen to CD’s in the car. Like all fads, this passed for us and we ended listening to the same CD over and over again. U našem slučaju, bilo je Isus Krist Superstar.

Jedan od (mnogi) Briljantne komada u tom rock operi se pjeva uspostavi vjerske vrste, predvodio Kaifa, the "High Priest". They sing their way into deciding how to handle the "Jesus problem" and Caiaphas directs them to the conclusion that "Jesus must die". The refrain on the song is "Just must die, mora umrijeti, mora umrijeti, this Jesus must die". You hear that refrain a lot in that piece.

U vrijeme, my son was about three years old. You can probably see where this is going.

I came home from work one day and my son is in the living room playing with toys and humming to himself. I’m taking off my jacket, gleda kroz mail i sve moje uobičajene walk-in-the-vrata stvari i sam odjednom shvatiti da je on samo govori, stvarno ne pjeva: "Jesus must die, mora umrijeti, must die." I was mortified. I could just see him doing that while on one of his baby play dates at a friend’s house — Vjerojatno posljednja igra date s tom dječjem prijatelja.

We pulled that CD out of the Volvo after that 🙂

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Tako, jutros, moj sin je odlučio vidjeti dobi trinaest ograničen Halo 3 Video na Gamespot. I’m outside shoveling snow, so I’m not there to help or hinder. Necessity is the mother of invention and all that … he has a eureka! moment. He realizes that even though Gamespot wants him to enter his pravi datum rođenja, on zapravo može ući bilo koji birth date he wants. Once he realized that, on je napravio sam dovoljno star da biste vidjeli video.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this 🙂

Na moj prvi posao izvan koledž u 1991, Bio sam sretan da raditi tvrtka sa proizvodnim 13 mjesta, not including its corporate HQ in New Jersey. I joined just when the company was rolling out a new ERP system. We were a small IT department of about ten people altogether, two of whom Did Not Travel. Part of the project involved replacing IBM System 36 boxes with HP hardware and HPUX. Everyone used green tubes to access the system.

Projekt role zajedno, a ja sam poslan na Baltimore s novim suradnik, Jeff. Our job was to power up the Unix box, provjerite je li O / S je trčanje, instalirali ERP sustava, konfigurirati ERP, train people on the ERP and do custom work for folks on the spot. (To je bio posao iz snova, posebno dolazi ravno iz fakulteta). Before we could really get off the ground, trebamo raspakirati sve zelene cijevi, put them on desks and wire them. And the best part was that we had to put the RJ11 connectors on ourselves.

Za neki razlog da ja nikada ne razumiju i zapravo nikada nije mislio pitati na vrijeme, smo je neki ugovorna tvrtka doći zajedno i pokrenuti kabel u cijeloj biljci, but we didn’t have them put on the connectors. Tako, došlo je do "patch box" s desecima od unlabeled kabela u "učionici" i to snaked oko zgrade na raznim mjestima u zgradi.

Radili smo naš put kroz nju tijekom vikenda, testiranje svake žice, stavljanjem na priključak (pazeći da je ravno vs. prešao), osiguranje su bitne postavke na zelenim cijevi i pisači su točni, labeling wires, pazeći da "Getty" was running correctly for each port and probably a thousand other things that I’ve suppressed since then. It all came together quite nicely.

Ali, there was one important cable that we couldn’t figure out. The plant in Baltimore had a relationship with a warehousing location in New Jersey. Some orders placed in Baltimore shipped out of that location. There were two wires that we had to connect to the HPUX box: a green tube and a printer. The green tube was easy, ali pisač pretvorio u noćnu moru tri tjedna.

Ako ne znate, ili su ga potisnut, koje se bave sa zelenim cijevima i pisača na taj način, there are various options that you deal with by setting various pins. 8-bit, 7-bit, paritet (ni / ak / ništa), probably others. If you get one of those settings wrong, cijev ili pisač i dalje pokazuje stvari, ali to će biti ukupno trtljanje, or it will be gibberish with a lot of recognizable stuff in between. Naravno, these pins are hard to see and have to be set by using a small flat-edge screw driver. And they are never standard.

Postavili smo prvi od mnogih brzih poziva s NJ Gvido (prosijed računalo mrzitelj koji su vjerojatno nam psuje na ovaj dan). We got the green tube working pretty quickly, but we couldn’t get the printer to work. It kept "printing garbage". We would create a new RJ11 connector, switching between crossed and straight. We would delete the port and re-created in Unix. We went through the arduous task of having him explain to us the pin configuration on the printer, nikada stvarno siguran ako je to radi ispravno.

To je oko vremena za ići uživo, sve u Baltimoreu se zuji, ali ne možemo dobiti prokleto pisač u NJ raditi! We’ve exhausted all possibilities except for driving back up to NJ to work on the printer in person. To avoid all that driving, napokon smo ga zamoliti da nam faksom što je sve kad je "smeće", u nadi da možda tamo će biti neki trag u tom smeću koje će nam reći što radimo krivo.

Kad smo dobili faks, we immediately knew what was wrong. Vidjeti, naša metoda ispitivanja da li mi je konfigurirati pisač ispravno je da izda "LP" Naredba ovako:

lp / etc / passwd

U osnovi, we printed out the unix password file. It’s always present and out of the box, always just one page. You standard Unix password file looks something like this:

kovač:*:100:100:8A-74(ured):/home / Smith:/usr / bin / sh
:*:200:0::/home / gost:/usr/bin/sh  

We had been printing out the password file over and over again for several weeks and it was printing correctly. Međutim, do krajnjeg korisnika, je "tiskanje smeće".

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