Прошлог лета, Сам створио "право у затвор" листу за фрижидер.  #1 на листи је Лоренс О'Донел (за нетачне прогнозе), али то је далеко изван оквира овог блога :)  Данас, Ја сам додао Цисцо ВПН клијент на листу, и то у обиму од носа.

Гомила година многи од клијената користи Цисцо ВПН да омогуће даљински приступ њиховом сајту.  Тада, Креирао сам виртуелне рачунаре за сваки од ових клијената и инсталиран Цисцо о томе? Зашто?  Јер Цисцо уређај се закључа, тако да не могу ни да прегледате локалне мрежне штампаче, камоли опасним оруђем Скипе, Цоммуницатор и "~" тастер.  Али,  ако га инсталирате на ВМ, Ваша ВМ је закључан доле, али не ваш домаћин. 

Подсетили сам од оних славних дана данас, јер морам да користим Цисцо ВПН Цлиент * опет * и то ме закључа и морам да га користим за минут.  Радије бих блог о томе колико Цисцо ВПН клијент заслужује да буде у затвору, а не да га користите ...

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SharePoint is better.

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Ми северни Њу Џерси ГАЛВИН да су велики љубитељи политичкој сатири тв. програм, Тхе Даили Схов hosted by Jon Stewart. I don’t like to get political in my blogging, па све што ћу рећи на то је да без Даили Схов, Може и сам трајно изгубио све смислом за хумор или око 12/12/2000.

Имали смо оброк на палуби почетком прошле недеље и мој десетогодишњи син доводи до недавно епизоду Показати. Сам направио коментар, "Jon Stewart knows that he Боље не исмевати мене or there will be terrible consequences for Jon Stewart."

Мој син мисли о томе за минут и каже:: "Dad, број један: He doesn’t even know you."

Чекао сам број два, али он је одлучио да је било доста и прешао на следећу тему без прескакања.

Некад је било да могу да добију много више километражу од тих врста шале, but he’s getting too used to me or too mature or both. I need to adjust somehow.

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Пре нешто више од три године, моја супруга и ја потписао сина за летњу активност, The Midland Park Players. This is a drama group that spends about three or four weeks preparing for a play and then showing it to the parents, friends and relatives. It’s always been done very well.

Ја не знам да ли свачије дете је овако, but my son is extremely reluctant to try new things. Knowing this, we signed him up for the program. We’ve found that it’s best to alert him to these kinds of things early and often. Тако, како би се превазишла своју природну одбојност, рекли смо му рано и дали све од себе да то звуци као забава, итд. Even with a multi-month advertising campaign, he still wasn’t convinced. We forced him to do, иако, и као што је често случај, he had a great time.

У време друге године ваљани око, he had once again convinced himself that he didn’t want to participate. Али, су га потписали смо се и на зеро-даи, I dropped him off one morning at the high school where they practice. When I went to pick him up after lunch, био је веома узбуђен, сви осмеси и најавио, "The play is the Велветеен Раббит and I want to be the Rabbit". He had spent literally months carrying on (понекад хистерично) како да не жели да има било какве везе са Парк играци и после првог дана, he wants to be the lead role in the play. We’ve seen this pattern before.

(На наше изненађење, он је добио улогу зец и он је био невероватно.)

Fast forward a few years. He’s been in Park Players three times now, so he’s something of a veteran. This summer (2008), Players starts up again. У међувремену, Он нам је на крају убеђен да он заиста doesn’t want to play soccer and he never liked basketball. That left him with no extra-curricular activities for late Winter / early Spring. A client with whom I was working mentioned that his daughter was in a program called Stage Right. Stage right is a slightly more expensive version of Park Players and it’s not in my town, but adjacent to it. Perfect.

The thing to know about that town is that it’s practically another country in terms of wealth. It has a high-frequency train right to Wall Street and NYC in general. It’s just a wealthy place. One of the on-going family discussion themes is whether we should have moved to that town instead of where we live now. It’s a bigger town, његове школе нуде више програма за децу, итд. My wife grew up in that town and her parents live there, so we are "hooked in" despite not living there. I personally grew up in different circumstances in Massachusetts, so I don’t have a lot to say about this during family dinner conversation. This isn’t to say that we aren’t very happy where we live. We just know that that town is a level above our town economically.

Stage Right’s next program started too soon for us to launch our normal advertising campaign to overcome my son’s reluctance. This is when he came up with one my personal favorite arguments against doing something: "Friday nights are главни ноћи за спавање преправки!" Stage Right was going to interfere with his weekend socials.

Дан долази, ми смо га довести тамо и отпустите га искључите и као са свим осталим, његова природна љубав само бити жив преузео и он је био добар провод са њом.

Протеклог викенда моја супруга је разговарао са њим и по први пут, I think he’s tailoring his discussions very precisely for his audience. She had asked him how Stage Right compares to Midland Park Players. He tells her that "In Park Players, we have teenagers that help us out. There aren’t any in in Stage Right. In Park Players, teenagers make all props. In Stage Right, we have to bring our own props. We have to do everything. And then he twists the knife: "I thought this was supposed to be a rich town."

Све ове године, I never really thought that he was hearing or understanding anything as it related to the "rich town". Међутим, испоставило се да је.

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Недавно сам купио ручак за мог брата (као и обично) and we ended up talking about funny things that we did at our respective colleges. At my alma mater, Лафајет колеџу, the academic support IT department had a very inclusive way about it. We were given a LOT of rope and I took advantage of that at times.

Две моје омиљене успомене односе се на мог доброг пријатеља, Gabe. He had made the terrible mistake of telling people his freshman year that "I’m a freshman, али имам Соутхмор положај" због разних напредне класе пласман је предузео, итд. Many of us were similarly situated but we didn’t talk about it so much. His senior year, када га је упознао са људима, we’d say "This is Gabe. He’s a Senior, but he has Sophomore standing".

The college had some Sun workstation/servers running X-Window. They had gigantic monitors and the engineers used them for CAD and other boring engineer stuff. We CS people used them to learn programming and, наравно, да играте игрице.

Ми нисмо као компјутерски беспомоћне инжењера много тако да један од наших омиљених ствари које треба урадити да би се телнет на пољу су били на води и Кс-еие on them. This would pop up a pair of eyes that followed the mouse around on the screen. You could pop up even more and have literally a dozen or more of the X-eye applications running. Try not to laugh out loud when a hapless engineer is trying to close X-eye after X-eye and muttering under his breath about it 🙂

We also played X-trek on those boxes. To do that, морали сте да преузмете извор, get various dependencies wherever you could find them and build it. I wasn’t a sophisticated C programmer, but I could read header files. I was looking through these and found directives like "#DEFINE MAX_TORPEDO_DISTANCE 10". I played around with that increase range and power for phases and torpedoes, поново изграђен је и затим уништили Габе следећи пут смо играли.

Гејб је такође велики фан ТВ емисији Блаке 7. I had never seen it, али то ме није спречило да инсистира да је др. Who is the superior show. The arguments would get heated at times 🙂

Једног дана, it occurred to me that I could probably guess his UNIX password. I sat down next to him one day and announced in a loud tone, "I’m going to guess your password right now, Gabe." "Yeah, право" was his answer. I then logged in, ушла у његов кориснички ИД, окренуо према њему, откуцана и рекао наглас, "I wonder if it’s B-L-A-K-E-7" ? Touch typing has never paid off as handsomely as it did that day.

Следеће недеље (или ускоро): More computer room antics from college.

Да ли имате да делите? Leave a comment or email me and I’ll publish them here.

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Као родитељ, somewhere along the line I discovered the "When I was a little boy" trick.

Мој син, вероватно четири или пет у то време, је пустио балон и, као и већина дечака који играју са балонима, he popped it. He was very upset. The world had come to an end. I said to him, "when I was little boy, I had a balloon and it popped and eventually, I got a new balloon." It seemed to help him cope with his loss and led to a fun talk about what it was like when I was a little boy.

That worked well as a consolation technique and I used it a several times over the next period of time. I did get into trouble once when his Monster Rancher 3 creature died. I talked about how my dog, Prince, had died in a car accident. Овај пут, his response was, "Now I feel bad about two things!" I shied away from using the "when I was a little boy" technique for consolation after that.

Before the dead dog incident, међутим, I had also started to use the technique to convince him to do chores. "When I was a little boy, I had to go out and get the newspaper", "clean my room", "get Mommy her coffee cup", итд.

This too was pretty successful for a while, but he started to increasingly rebel against the tyranny of my childhood. One event, посебно, marked the end. I told him to bring the garbage cans from curb back to the garage. He argued and I responded, "When I was a little boy, I had to take the garbage back to the garage." He responded, "Oh yeah! Well when you were a little boy, that was STUPID!".

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Назад око 1998, the company I worked for at the time received some funding to create a new e-commerce product. We had the full gamut of business requirements to meet. It had to be fast, једноставан за крајње кориснике, неукусан, више језика, итд. Sad to say, Вероватно нису имали као амбициозни скуп рада да се оствари, јер тих оних дана.

This effort pre-dated Microsoft.NET. Plain vanilla ASP was still somewhat new (или бар врло непознате мојој фирми). "Brick and mortar" companies were doomed. Проклет! This is to say that it was pioneering work. Није Хадрон Цоллидер пионирски рад, али за нас у нашем малом свету, је пионирски рад.

We were crazy busy. We were doing mini POC’s almost every day, схватила како да одрже стање у својственом медиј без држављанства, фигуринг мулти-језичким питањима, row-level security. We even had create a vocabulary to define basic terms (Сам волео државе упорни али из неког разлога, the awkward "statefull" освојио дан).

Као што смо били лудо измишљање овај производ, the marketing and sales people were out there trying to sell it. Somehow, they managed to sell it to our nightmare scenario. Even though we were designing and implementing an enterprise solution, we really didn’t expect the first customer to use every last feature we built into the product day zero. This customer needed multi-language, a radically different user interface from the "standard" system but with the same business logic. Multi-language was especially hard in this case, јер смо увек фокусирани на шпанском или француском језику, али у овом случају, да је кинески (што је двобајтни скуп карактера и захтева посебно руковање с обзиром на технологију коју смо).

Fast forward a few months and I’m on a Northwest airlines flight to Beijing. I’ve been so busy preparing for this trip that I have almost no idea what it’s like to go there. I had read a book once about how an American had been in China for several years and had learned the language. One day he was walking the city and asked some people for directions. The conversation went something this:

• Американац: "Could you tell me how to get to [КСКС] улица?"
• Кинески: "Sorry, we don’t speak English".
• Американац: "Oh, добро говорим мандарински." и питао их поново на кинеском, али јасније (најбоље што је могао).
• Кинески: Врло љубазно, "Sorry, we don’t speak English".

The conversation went on like that for bit and the American gave up in frustration. As he was leaving them he overheard one man speaking to the other, "I could have sworn he was asking for directions to [КСКС] улица."

I had picked up a few bits and pieces of other China-related quasi-information and "helpful advice":

• A Korean co-worked told me that the I needed to be careful of the Chinese because "they would try to get me drunk and take advantage of you" у смислу ме притиска у лоше пословне одлуке.
• Није нам било дозвољено да возе аутомобиле (је дошло до забуне да ли је то обичај, правни захтев или само клијента правило).
• Било је посебна правила за одлазак преко границе.
• Нисмо смели да користе амерички новац ни за шта.
• You’re not supposed to leave tips. It’s insulting if you do.

И на крају, Имао сам релативно свежа сећања Тјенанмен масакр. When I was at college, I remember seeing real-time Usenet postings as the world looked on in horror.

Укратко, I was very nervous. I wasn’t just normal-nervous in the sense that I was delivering a solution that was orders of magnitude more complicated than anything I had ever done before. I was also worried about accidentally breaking a rule that could get me in trouble.

Ја сам на ово 14 сата лета и иако је била у бизнис класи, 14 сати је проклето дуго времена. Постоји само толико много начина да се забавите читајући, watching movies or playing with the magnetized cutlery. Even a really good book is hard to read for several hours straight.

Коначно, Почео сам да читам амбалажу на комад софтвера сам руком носећи са собом клијенту, Netscape’s web server. I’m reading the hardware/software requirements, маркетиншке Блурбс, гледајући у лепу слику и изненада, I zero in on the giant "NOT FOR EXPORT" упозорење, нешто о 128 bit encryption. I stuffed the box back into my carry bag, упозоравајући лицем надоле (као да би се помогло) и покушао да задржи визије Миднигхт Екпресс out of my head.

Осврћући се на њему сада, Требало је да будем забринут, ако је уопште, када сам напустио САД, not when I was entering China 🙂 Nothing untoward happened and I still consider that to be the best and most memorable business trip I’ve had the pleasure of making.

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One of the many joys I take in being the parent of a ten year old boy is finding new ways to make him laugh or think a little differently about questions and things in the world. I’ve used these techniques over the years:

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Погрешно његова питања:

Син: Који је данас дан?

Тата: Један дан пре среде.

С: Не, ког дана у месецу је?

Д: Ох, то је 4 дана након Јан 25.

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Голицај му и реците му да ћете престати када престане да се смеје.

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Идите низ степенице у ТВ сали и саопштава, "It’s good to be the daddy." Онда, покупи га да се топло место на каучу и промените канал на нешто добро, као СциФи каналу.

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Read stories out loud. Insert ridiculous sentences in the middle of the story. My favorite is to add "killing him instantly" when the main characters encounters some minor trouble. На пример, "the knife slipped in his hand, сечење кажипрст, убио га одмах." Nothing quite gets your son out of a complacent and passive listening mode as the main character being killed instantly.

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Read stories incorrectly. Read sentences backward. The best part of this is that the first couple of times I did this, my son thought he was helping me out by pointing out that I wasn’t reading the words in the right order. The down side is that he really doesn’t want me to read to him any more.

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Go to Burger King for lunch. My son would eat BK morning, night and day if we let him. When going, реци му, "I know you hate going there, but we simply have no choice." When he tries to explain that he loves BK, talk over him and say things like "We don’t have time to argue about it! We’re going and I don’t want to have a discussion!"

(Ово ме подсећа на мог омиљеног вица Борг: "Borger King: We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant." hahaha!)

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Отворите књигу на страну 9 и кажу, "hmm, that’s an odd page".

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Fill the world with arch enemies. "We’re going to run quick over toe 7-11, arch-enemy of 11-7".

"Your aunt lives in Ringwood, Арцх Енеми до града Скуаревоод."

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Возимо до Масачусетса из Њу Џерсија неколико пута годишње и обично је потребно око 5 hours door to door. As we arrive home and pull into the driveway say, "oh, Заборавио сам, морамо да брзо цртицу на Хоме Депот."

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Када гледате неког насилног инцидента у ТВ емисији (као што су Хероес), реци свом сину, "some times, на раду, I need to destroy my enemies by burning them alive using the powers of my mind. I don’t like doing it, али мораш да урадиш оно што мораш."

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Када гледате лоших хорор филмова (see "It’s good to be the Daddy" изнад), ascribe improbable motives to the evil character. На пример, tell your son that the reason Jason is so angry is because he wants some cake and they won’t let him have any.

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Explain phone numbers incorrectly. Instead of telling your son to dial "201-111-2222", tell him it’s "2-011-1-12222".

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Шта трикове користите?

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