1. Bumili ng brokuli kapag alam mong mayroon nang higit sa sapat sa refrigerator.
2. Go for a run. Cool off. Take off clean pillow case and replace with T-shirt. Cover with clean pillow case.
3. Kapag sa pagmamaneho, magtanong kung dapat naming pumunta sa maling paraan pababa sa isang one-way na kalye.
4. Para 15 taon, tuwing Linggo na iyong asawa ay nagmumungkahi ng pagpunta sa isang museo, express sorpresa na museo ay bukas sa Linggo ni.
5. Para 15 taon, occasionally suggest going to the local book store on Sunday. Express surprise that they are not open on Sunday’s (Salamat ng maraming Blue Batas!).
6. Gamitin 20 mga punto upang gawin ang isang 3 point turn.
7. Sa isang cool na maagang Taglagas hapon, walk into the room and turn on the A/C. Complain that it’s cold. When wife says, "then why did you turn that on, gago" at nakakakuha ng hanggang sa i-off ito, grab the warm spot she had on the couch. Bonus points if she does not realize you did it until much later.
8. Buksan up ng lata ng masarap na tuna puti albakora at kumain ito tuwid mula sa makakaya, sa kama, sa gabi.
9. Pumunta sa kusina habang asawa ay kumakain ng hapunan, buksan ang kubyertos dibuhista at push kagamitan sa paligid hanggang asawa screams, "what are you looking for!"
10. Sa pagtanggap ng bagong mga business card, lihim ilagay ang mga ito lahat sa paligid ng bahay: Sa ilalim ng kama, sa pillow kaso, sa loob ng tasa ng kape, sa kanyang pitaka, pahiran sa bulsa, kotse glab compartments, ang pantry — anywhere you can think of.
11. Sumulat ng entry sa blog tungkol sa iyong asawa.
12. Gumising.
13. Kapag paglalakad sa mga kalye ng New York City, be on the alert for "crusty" objects on the ground. Pagpapanatiling sa isip ang mga espesyal na takot ang iyong asawa ni, maabot down na bilang kung upang pumili ng isa up up at hilingin, "hmm, Siguro kung ano na ang?" (Be prepared for wife to body slam you as if she’s a secret service agent protecting the President from a sniper or you’ll find yourself laying on your back on the sidewalk).
14. Drive twice around a parking lot looking for space. You know you’ve really hit pay dirt when your son in the back seat yells, "Oh no! Siya'y paggawa ito muli!"
15. Write "top 10" mga listahan na walang 10 mga item.

===

Bonus asawa magtawa:

Two male co-workers go out to lunch. One of them tells the other, "I let loose an embarrassing Freudian slip the other night."

"A Freudian slip? What’s that?"

"Well, kapag tapos na kami sa pagkain, tagapagsilbi ang dumating sa pamamagitan ng at tinanong kung paano namin nagustuhan ang aming pagkain. Ako nilalayong sabihin, ‘I loved the chicken breast’ but instead I said ‘I loved your breasts’. I was so embarrassed."

"Ah," his co-worker replied. "I had the same thing happen to me this weekend with my wife. We were eating breakfast I meant to ask her to pass the butter, ngunit sa halip ko screamed sa kanya, ‘You ruined my life!'"

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Tungkol sa anim na taon na ang nakalipas, ang aking apat na taon gulang na anak na lalaki at ako ay sa itaas ng hagdan nanonood ng Discovery channel "shark attacks" espesyal (marahil ang isang ito). He was very young at the point and I was always worried what he might see on a show like this and how he might take it. I didn’t want him to develop, halimbawa, anumang espesyal na mga takot ng tubig o magsitsit ng isang bagay na hindi naaangkop sa kanyang mga kaibigan at posibleng maging sanhi ng kanyang sanggol kaibigan network na dumating pag-crash down na.

Discovery handles these kinds of subjects very well. It’s not about creating a takot sa isang bagay, but rather to show how unusual it is for sharks to attack humans.

Kaya, we’re watching it and there is this one particularly scary attack involving a small girl. As Discovery is building the drama of the attack, aking anak na lalaki (sino ay palagi nang naging lubhang matatakutin pa rin), is getting very excited. I make some noises about how unusual it is for sharks to attack people, and how bad the poor girl must feel. I’m trying to explain that people recover from these events and become stronger for it. Gayunman, I had misinterpreted his excitement. He was not worried about the girl at all. Sa halip, habang pumapalakpak ang kanyang mga kamay, siya ay nagsasabi sa akin, "The sharks love it! It’s terrific. It’s wonderful. Its a DREAM COME TRUE!"

Akala ko ito ay masayang-maingay, but also very disturbing. Sa isang banda, Ako ay natutuwa — kahit na isang maliit na maipagmamalaki — na maaaring siya ay may malakas na damdamin empathic, cross-species though they may be. As humans, we need to develop our "empathic muscles" kaya makipag-usap o makakapunta ka tulad ng ito tao 🙂 Sa kabilang dako, he was feeling cross-species empathy toward a species who was exhibiting behavior inimical to his own. I was really struggling with this when the narrator used the word "paradigm". My son picked up on that and asked me what that meant.

Iyan ay hindi tulad ng isang madaling salita upang ilarawan sa isang apat na taong gulang na, but I gave it a try. When I think of the word "paradigm", Thomas Kuhn is never far from my thoughts. Nabasa ko Ang Istruktura ng Scientific Revolutions bumalik sa Lafayette at para sa mas mahusay o mas masahol pa para sa, the word "paradigm" is pregnant with extra meaning for me. (Sort of like the word "contact" pagkatapos ng hearing ng Movie boses Telepono sabihin sa akin kung saan maaari kong makita na pelikula [Naisip ko na ang libro ay mas mahusay]; Ako palaging sabihin sa aking sarili, "CONTACT!" whenever I see or hear someone say "contact").

Gayon pa man, Sinusubukan ko upang ipaliwanag sa kanya ang isang Kuhnian kahulugan, that it’s "a historical movement of thought" and that it’s a "way of thinking with a number of built-in assumptions that are hard to escape for people living at that time." Talaga, hindi ka maaaring makipag-usap tulad ng sa isang apat na taong gulang na, so I’m trying to successively define it to smaller pieces and feeling rather proud of myself as I do so. (Ko lang Alam na isang tao sa labas ng kolehiyo gusto pakialam na ako ay basahin Kuhn!).

I’m just warming to the task when he interrupts me. Waving his hand sa aking pangkalahatang direksyon at hindi kailanman pagkuha ng kanyang mga mata off ang isa pang mabangis na atake pating, siya lamang sabi, "Yeah, oo, oo. Kalokohan, kalokohan, blah.".

So magkano ang para sa 🙂

Sa puntong iyon, Ko nagpasya upang patakbuhin ang layo, rhetorically pagsasalita, magpahinga, at tangkilikin ang panonood ng mga kawani na tao pating atake sa aking anak na lalaki.

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Bumalik malapit sa 1999, Ako ay gumagasta ng maraming linggo out sa Santa Barbara, CA, nagtatrabaho para sa isang client, leaving my poor wife back here in New Jersey alone. I dearly love my wife. I love her just as much today as I did when she foolishly married me 1,000 years or so ago. Sa isang lugar sa kahabaan ng linya, Ako likha ng parirala, "special fear", as in "Samantha has special fears." She as a special fear of "bugs", na sa kanyang mga hindi lilipad o ladybugs, but rather microbes. She’s afraid of this or that virus or unusual bacteria afflicting our son, o sa akin, but never really herself. (Siya ay isa ring espesyal na takot sa vampires, maliit na larawan masasamang mga manika (lalo na clowns) sa ilalim ng tubig at aksidente; siya ay out-lumaki ang kanyang espesyal na takot ng mga tao bihis sa Santa Claus outfits).

Minsan, my co-worker and I decided to drive up into the nearby mountains near Ohai. At one point, we got out of the car to take in the scene. When we got back into the car, I noticed that a tick was on my shoulder. I flicked out the window and that was it.

Iyon gabi, I told her about our drive and mentioned the tick. The conversation went something like this:

S: "Oooo! Those are bad. They carry diseases."

P: "Well, Ako flicked ito out ang window."

S: "They are really bad though. They can get under your skin and suck blood and transfer bugs. You better check your hair and make sure there aren’t any in your head!"

P: Sa malakas na boses: "My God! CAN THEY TAKE OVER YOUR MIND???"

S: Literal na reassuring sa akin: "No, ang mga ito ay hindi NA masama."

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Binili namin ang aming mga unang (at lamang) "luxury" car back when hurricane Floyd nailed the east coast of the U.S. We got a LOT of rain here in New Jersey and ilang araw na lumipas before life returned to normal. Just before Floyd struck, gumawa kami ng isang alok para sa isang ginamit Volvo 850 GL at pagkatapos Floyd struck, ito ay nagdulot bahay.

It was our first car with a CD player. Like most new car owners, nagpunta kami ng isang maliit na mabaliw CD, revived our dormant CD collection and went on long drives just to listen to CD’s in the car. Like all fads, this passed for us and we ended listening to the same CD over and over again. Sa aming kaso, ito ay Si Jesu-Cristo superstar.

Ang isa sa mga (marami) makinang na piraso sa rock na opera ay Sung sa pamamagitan ng pagtatatag ng mga uri ng relihiyon, pinangunahan ng Caiaphas, the "High Priest". They sing their way into deciding how to handle the "Jesus problem" and Caiaphas directs them to the conclusion that "Jesus must die". The refrain on the song is "Just must die, dapat mamatay, dapat mamatay, this Jesus must die". You hear that refrain a lot in that piece.

Sa oras, my son was about three years old. You can probably see where this is going.

I came home from work one day and my son is in the living room playing with toys and humming to himself. I’m taking off my jacket, Naghahanap sa pamamagitan ng mail at lahat ng aking mga karaniwang walk-in-the-door bagay-bagay at ako biglang mapagtanto na lamang niya sinasabi, hindi tunay na pag-awit: "Jesus must die, dapat mamatay, must die." I was mortified. I could just see him doing that while on one of his baby play dates at a friend’s house — marahil ang huling petsa ng pag-play sa kaibigang iyon sanggol.

We pulled that CD out of the Volvo after that 🙂

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Kaya, ito umaga, aking anak na lalaki ay tinutukoy upang makita ang isang edad-labintatlo pinaghihigpitan Halo 3 sa video Gamespot. I’m outside shoveling snow, so I’m not there to help or hinder. Necessity is the mother of invention and all that … he has a eureka! moment. He realizes that even though Gamespot wants him to enter his tunay araw ng kapanganakan, Maaari niya talagang ipasok ang anumang birth date he wants. Once he realized that, ginawa niya ang kanyang sarili lumang sapat upang makita ang mga video.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this 🙂

Sa aking unang trabaho out sa kolehiyo sa 1991, Ako ay mapalad na upang gumana para sa isang kumpanya na may manufacturing 13 lokasyon, not including its corporate HQ in New Jersey. I joined just when the company was rolling out a new ERP system. We were a small IT department of about ten people altogether, two of whom Did Not Travel. Part of the project involved replacing IBM System 36 boxes with HP hardware and HPUX. Everyone used green tubes to access the system.

Ang proyekto Rolls kasama at ako ay nagpadala down sa Baltimore na may bagong co-manggagawa, Jeff. Our job was to power up the Unix box, tiyakin ang O / S ay tumatakbo, i-install ang sistema ng ERP, i-configure ang ERP, train people on the ERP and do custom work for folks on the spot. (Ito ay isang panaginip na trabaho, lalo na pagdating tuwid out sa kolehiyo). Before we could really get off the ground, kinailangan naming ma-unpack ang lahat ng mga berdeng tubes, put them on desks and wire them. And the best part was that we had to put the RJ11 connectors on ourselves.

Para sa ilang mga dahilan na hindi ko maintindihan at hindi kailanman talagang naisip na tanungin tungkol sa oras, kami ay ilang pagkontrata kumpanya sumama at magpatakbo ng mga cable sa buong planta, but we didn’t have them put on the connectors. Kaya, there was a "patch box" with dozens of of unlabeled cables in the "computer room" at mga snaked sa paligid ng gusali sa iba't ibang mga lugar sa gusali.

Kami nagtrabaho aming paraan sa pamamagitan ng ito sa kurso ng isang weekend, pagsubok ng bawat wire, paglalagay sa isang connector (tinitiyak na iyon ay tuwid vs. tumawid), tinitiyak ang bit setting sa mga berdeng tubes at mga printer ay tama, labeling wires, making sure that "getty" was running correctly for each port and probably a thousand other things that I’ve suppressed since then. It all came together quite nicely.

Pero, there was one important cable that we couldn’t figure out. The plant in Baltimore had a relationship with a warehousing location in New Jersey. Some orders placed in Baltimore shipped out of that location. There were two wires that we had to connect to the HPUX box: a green tube and a printer. The green tube was easy, ngunit printer ang naka sa isang tatlong-linggong bangungot.

Kung hindi mo alam ito, o pinigilan ito, pagharap sa mga berdeng tubes at mga printer na ito paraan, there are various options that you deal with by setting various pins. 8-kaunti, 7-kaunti, pagkakapare-pareho (kahit na / kakaiba / none), probably others. If you get one of those settings wrong, ang tube o printer pa rin nagpapakita ng mga bagay-bagay, ngunit ito ay magiging kabuuang mga walang kuwentang, or it will be gibberish with a lot of recognizable stuff in between. Talaga, these pins are hard to see and have to be set by using a small flat-edge screw driver. And they are never standard.

Kami-set up ang una sa maraming mga mabilis na tawag sa NJ tao (ng isang kulay-abo hater computer na kung sino marahil curses sa amin upang sa araw na ito). We got the green tube working pretty quickly, but we couldn’t get the printer to work. It kept "printing garbage". We would create a new RJ11 connector, switching between crossed and straight. We would delete the port and re-created in Unix. We went through the arduous task of having him explain to us the pin configuration on the printer, hindi kailanman talagang sigurado kung siya ay ginagawa mo ito nang tama.

Ito ay tungkol sa oras na maging live, lahat ng bagay sa Baltimore ay humuhuni, ngunit hindi namin makuha ang sinumpa printer up sa NJ upang gumana! We’ve exhausted all possibilities except for driving back up to NJ to work on the printer in person. To avoid all that driving, we finally ask him to fax us what he’s getting when it’s "garbage", umaasa na siguro ay magkakaroon ng ilang mga bakas na sa basura na magsasabi sa amin kung ano ang ginagawa namin mali.

Kapag namin nakuha ang fax, we immediately knew what was wrong. Tingnan, our method of testing whether we had configured a printer correctly was to issue an "lp" command na tulad nito:

LP / etc / passwd

Talaga, we printed out the unix password file. It’s always present and out of the box, always just one page. You standard Unix password file looks something like this:

panday:*:100:100:8A-74(opisina):/tahanan / smith:/usr / bin / SH
:*:200:0::/tahanan / guest:/usr/bin/sh  

We had been printing out the password file over and over again for several weeks and it was printing correctly. Gayunman, sa dulo ng gumagamit, it was "printing garbage".

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