1. Kununua broccoli wakati unajua tayari kuna zaidi ya kutosha katika friji.
2. Go for a run. Cool off. Take off clean pillow case and replace with T-shirt. Cover with clean pillow case.
3. Wakati wa kuendesha gari, kuuliza kama tunaweza kwenda njia sahihi chini ya mitaani njia moja.
4. Kwa 15 miaka, kila Jumapili kwamba wewe mke unaonyesha kwenda makumbusho, kueleza mshangao kwamba makumbusho ni wazi juu ya Jumapili.
5. Kwa 15 miaka, occasionally suggest going to the local book store on Sunday. Express surprise that they are not open on Sunday’s (shukrani sana Blue Sheria!).
6. Kutumia 20 pointi ya kufanya 3 point turn.
7. Juu ya baridi mchana mapema Fall, walk into the room and turn on the A/C. Complain that it’s cold. When wife says, "then why did you turn that on, silly" na anapata hadi kugeuka kuwa mbali, grab the warm spot she had on the couch. Bonus points if she does not realize you did it until much later.
8. Kufungua unaweza wa tonfisk ladha nyeupe ALBACORE na kula moja kwa moja kutoka unaweza, katika kitanda, usiku.
9. Kwenda katika jikoni wakati mke ni kula chakula cha jioni, kufungua droo cutlery na vyombo kushinikiza kuzunguka mpaka mke mayowe, "what are you looking for!"
10. Baada ya kupokea kadi mpya ya biashara, siri kuwaweka wote kuzunguka nyumba: Chini ya kitanda, katika kesi ya mto, ndani ya kahawa vikombe, katika mfuko wake, katika kanzu ya mifuko, gari glove compartments, pantry — anywhere you can think of.
11. Kuandika blog entries kuhusu mke wako.
12. Kuamka.
13. Wakati kutembea mitaa ya New York City, be on the alert for "crusty" objects on the ground. Kuweka katika akili ya mke wako hofu maalum, kufikia chini kama kuchukua moja hadi juu na kuuliza, "hmm, Nashangaa kile kwamba ni?" (Be prepared for wife to body slam you as if she’s a secret service agent protecting the President from a sniper or you’ll find yourself laying on your back on the sidewalk).
14. Drive twice around a parking lot looking for space. You know you’ve really hit pay dirt when your son in the back seat yells, "Oh no! Yeye kufanya hivyo tena!"
15. Write "top 10" orodha ya kwamba hawana 10 vitu.

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Ziada mke utani:

Two male co-workers go out to lunch. One of them tells the other, "I let loose an embarrassing Freudian slip the other night."

"A Freudian slip? What’s that?"

"Well, wakati sisi kumaliza kula, Waitress akaja na aliuliza jinsi sisi walipenda milo yetu. Mimi maana ya kusema, ‘I loved the chicken breast’ but instead I said ‘I loved your breasts’. I was so embarrassed."

"Ah," his co-worker replied. "I had the same thing happen to me this weekend with my wife. We were eating breakfast I meant to ask her to pass the butter, lakini badala yake mimi kupiga kelele saa yake, ‘You ruined my life!'"

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